Friday, 30 March 2007

WHY do they do it?

There is no common thread that binds all perpetrators when it comes to why they do it. Why do these men go about sticking fingers, penises or foreign objects into every orifice of a child's body? Trying to find the answer to this question is not a way to see it from the perpetrators point of view, not a justification, no - there can be no "justification" for hurting a child, robbing a child of its innocence - but an attempt to understand why so many otherwise-perfectly-normal men behave so despicably? It's scary. What the hell is happening to mankind?

In her book Bitter Chocolate, Pinki Virani emphasizes that, its got everything to do with "sexualized sex" or lust. My personal opinion supports the same view. It's just about sex, indiscriminate sex, a lot of it, too much of it. It's easy and it's our natural instinct, than why not? Believe me, they find nothing wrong with it- no sense of guilt, shame,repentance. For, in general, they don't end up abusing a child by accident. They want to do it, that's why they do it. It's as simple as that, and when asked , probably they will tell you the same.

It boils down to that basic argument of what's special about being human, being as we are, gifted with a hugely developed brain, which makes us think and decide for ourselves what's more important- the pleasure of the moment or "self limitation"? Which one does one choose, sexual gratification or the spiritual gratification that comes from being able to restrain ones desires? The former is much easier! That's it. So more and more people are giving up on the more difficult path and choosing the easier one. And as the darkest side of human nature starts to rule, the world turns into a horror for the little ones that are the easiest to lay hands on. Even if we keep aside the perpetrators, in general there is this astoundingly "revolutionary" idea of "freedom" that is taking shape, especially among young people of today - be free, don't restrain yourself, follow your instincts. Huh, nothing wrong with it at all, just that people are doing that at the expense of what matters to every human soul at the end - self worth, what you feel about yourself within, as i already mentioned, a spritual satisfaction of having risen above oneself. What people overlook is that freedom includes self restraint! The two aren't at war with each other.

Following are relevant excerpts from Bitter Chocolate by Pinki Virani :

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, author and winner of the Nobel, in a recent essay on the abuse of the world's environment, says,'It is difficult to bring ourselves to sacrifice and self-denial because in political, public and private life we have long since dropped the golden key of self-restraint to the ocean floor. But self-limitation is the fundamental and wisest aim of a man who has obtained his freedom. It is also the surest path towards its attainment. If we do not learn to limit firmly our desires and demands, to subordinate our interests to moral criteria, we, humankind, will simply be torn apart as the worst aspects of human nature bare their teeth. It
has been pointed by various thinkers many times: if a personality is not directed at values higher than the self, corruption and decay inevitably take hold. We can only experience true spiritual satisfaction not in seizing, but in refusing to seize. In other words: self-limitation.'

Doctors can find themselves as despairing when questioned why adults set upon children sexually. Dr. Rajesh Parikh is asked about the neurological basis for psychiatric disorders and the psychological manifestations of neurological disorders with specific reference to perpetrators of Child Sexual Abuse in India. He replies ruefully, 'As a neuro-psychiatrist I would really like to believe that all these men are disturbed. I would like to think that all of them have personality disorders, that they are deviants or that they have low self-esteem. But this would not be right on my part because it is simply not true for all cases. Most adult males who sexually abuse children
are . . .' Dr Parikh searches for the word, 'They are . . .'


Dr Rajesh Parikh nods in agreement, 'I do not approve of the usage of strong language but yes, grown-up men who sexually molest children are . . .'



Dr Shekhar Seshadri's is a well-known name in the field of the Indian child's mental health, particularly in connection with Child Sexual Abuse. Ask him about perpetrators and he replies, 'There are those who have been sexually abused themselves as children although
this should not be used as the reason for perpetuation. There are a few who are genuinely mentally ill. There are the paedophiles and it would be a mistake to think that all paedophiles are mentally sick. There are those who have been misinformed that sex with a virgin or a child is the treatment for sexually transmitted diseases, Aids or impotence. And then there are the . . .'

He pauses, looking for a word which would describe such men.


'There is a reason why I would hesitate to use that word. It should not be seen as a categorization for someone to either keep perpetrating or stop himself from coming for psychiatric help so that he can desist.'

These bastards would form an overwhelming percentage of the males who sexually abuse children?

'Yes, these otherwise "normal" types who lead seemingly casual lives would form the largest chunk of adults who sexually abuse little bodies and minds. And most of them do it for no other reason than sex. That is really the basic thing. All the other stuff may, or may not, be present like power and domination, sexuality and its abuse, gender and patriarchy, class and caste. In my experience, the other
issues do come up but sex takes the prominent form. This sex element is the least discoursed phenomenon because it is the least understood.'

It is expected that when a man is plainly a bastard he will be honest about it and do everything for the wrong reasons. But perpetrators do not fit into any pattern; this is perhaps the most difficult thing to prove in court when he is a doting grandfather, an elderly gent, an ancient elder who prays with his wife and plays with his grandchildren. To the presiding judge this accusation is then an aberration, the alleged act a cooked up one since such behaviour would be inconsistent with the man's general behaviour. The benefit of the doubt is given to the perpetrator because he has his good reputation and social standing which must be protected at all cost. Including against the interests of the child; for this child there is nothing more damaging than the bastard's inconsistency.


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